Rosie the Rose

I know where the mutant hybrid tea rose is, but I won’t tell anyone. It’s a secret, because the mutant flower isn’t as horrible as everyone thinks. It doesn’t want to destroy humanity. It doesn’t want to hurt anybody. In reality, the hybrid tea rose that is “worrying” Melbourne just wants a friend.

I found it hiding underneath a bridge the other day, worried about an angry mob that had taken to the streets with pitchforks and torches. I brought the big cuddly flower back to my house and gave it some nutrients. We got talking and I learned a lot about it. It’s had a really rough life, these past few weeks. The government tried to poison its roots, but luckily Rosie (as I’ve come to know it) was able to get enough water from the local reservoir to fight off the sickness that came. Rosie didn’t ask to be like this. In fact, it didn’t ask to be a hybrid tea rose at all. When Rosie was just a sapling, it hoped to grow into a floribunda rose

It’s sad how we attack things that we don’t understand. I’ve picked up on the language of living flowers, so I can actually talk to Rosie, but most people don’t have that kind of patience. If we’ve accepted sentient cars into this world, then why can’t we accept sentient flowers, too?

So yes, Rosie, the hybrid tea rose that everyone is so afraid of, is living with me. I found out where I could buy seeds online, because Rosie really likes to eat those. Now, you may be shocked about that. Isn’t that like if a human ate another human? But it’s not like that at all. Rosie doesn’t eat other rose seeds, just sunflower seeds. So it’s more like eating another mammal, which we do all the time.

You see, Rosie really isn’t that bad. I think we should all just settle down and accept the new world, one in which humans, cars and flowers can all live peacefully together. That’s the future I’m hoping to see.