I threw down my pen in frustration and pushed myself away from the desk with a sigh. Well, as far away from my desk as my wheelie chair could carry me in this cramped office, bursting with shelves and filing boxes that my accountant swore I needed. I’d briefly considered hiring a storage unit to put them all in, but once I’d seen that the smallest units were bigger than my office, I’d given up and gone home.
‘What is it?’ my secretary asked nervously from the doorway. I waved her in and pulled a bottle of whiskey from my bottom drawer.
‘It’s the job, Leanne,’ I whispered, then repeated because she couldn’t hear me over the sound of the pouring whiskey. ‘The job management software for tradesmen. It’s too efficient. I have too much work.’ My voice cracked, as I gestured around my cramped, box-filled office to prove the point.
‘Oh, Steve,’ she whirled into the room, taking a seat on a box in front of my desk.
‘And my computer!’ I slapped the side of the ancient grey box and the monitor briefly fizzled to life.
‘The computer?’ Leanne asked, horrified.
‘It won’t update! Every time I lose my Melbourne electrical service. Scheduling software can only get you so far when the power keeps blinking out!’
‘Oh, Steve,’ Leanne repeated, welling up with tears.
‘I just…’ I put my head in my hands. ‘I just wish that the rest of my life was as easy as this software.’
‘The computer?’ Leanne asked, horrified. I frowned and looked up at her dopey expression.
‘Oh god, not you too!’ I groaned, leaning forward to wave my hand in front of her blank eyes.
‘Oh, Steve,’ Leanne repeated again, her voice drifting into a low, digital monotone.
I quickly jumped up and ran behind her, to check the diagnostics panel underneath her shoulder. ‘Power Failure’ it blinked up at me, as Leanne went limp and then went stiff.
‘Should’ve rented a storage unit instead,’ I sighed, reaching for the whiskey.