New Club Name

Charlie and Nicolas are always talking about their ridiculous ideas for our hybrid football and welding club. If they seriously think I’m going to play football while fans chant “Go Bait Boards” or “Go Bow Rails”, they’re delusional. Those are both ridiculous names. I think I’d actually be sick if either of those were voted in by the majority. Personally, I think I’ve got an idea that blows both out of the water.

I may have only joined the club a few months ago, but I’ve already proven to be a key element in the team, playing as the ruckman. The opposition traffic cone doesn’t stand a chance when I am hitting the ball out like Maximum Gone from the Melbourne Devils. That’s why I think I should get to name this society of enthusiasts of marine fabrication for the Melbourne area. I’d choose something cool, that we’d all be proud to represent. Nothing lame, like Bait Boards or Bow Rails. I could come up with a dozen things which are better, but I’ve already got the perfect one. I can’t tell you just yet, though. I’ve got to draw the suspense out. It’s truly worth that sort of build-up.

Anyway, I’ve been watching this show on Not Flicks called Northmen. It’s a comedy set in the Viking age, and it’s really funny, if a tad inappropriate at times. My favourite character is Jarl Varl. He used to be this great ruler but he went crazy when he discovered that his hair was falling out. As someone who is thinning a little on top, I really felt for him. It’s certainly scary enough to make someone snap into insanity.

Alright, I think you’ve waited long enough to find out what my idea is. Under my suggestion, we would be the Malvern Rod Holders. Our logo could be a man who is holding a fishing rod, casting it into the ocean. I think it’s really clever because it has multiple meanings. As marine welders, we put rod holders on boats all the time, but most of us also enjoy fishing, so we ourselves are rod holders. What do you think of it? I think it’s genius, and if you disagree, you’re wrong.

– Frank