Turning Glass Dark

Hi, I’m Zach Jordan. You may remember me from such films as Ow, My Giant Blue Head and Is No Fun, Is No Blinsky. Alternatively, you might know me from my blog work on A Big, Beautiful, Old Rock. Today I’ll be answering questions about my latest film, I Am the Senate, in which I play the lead character, a man who haunts a government building by randomly changing the tint on its windows.

Hi Zach, what kind of commercial window tinting business did the movie studio employ for this project? Since it’s about window tinting, it must have been pretty expensive.

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But the truth is, I was absolutely perfect for this role for one reason: I was born with a strange ability to adjust the darkness of glass with my mind alone. All of the tinting-related effects were done by yours truly. It made filming much easier since we didn’t need to find a tinting business. Of course, we could have just used CGI, but that wouldn’t have felt genuine. During filming, we did employ a commercial decorative window business near Melbourne for all of the coloured windows, since I can’t change the colours of glass, only the shade.

Mr J, when did you realise that you could change the shades of glass?

Well, I was about seven when I first discovered this power. Wait, I’ve never talked about this ability of mine before, and this blog post isn’t even published yet. How did you know when I hadn’t publicly revealed it? I’ll have to get my publicist to look into this. I don’t know how they choose the questions, but it’s starting to get creepy. Anyway, I was seven, sitting in my bedroom. I’d accidentally set my curtains on fire a few days earlier, so the sun was coming in extra bright. I looked at the glass and thought about how I really wanted it to be darker, and suddenly it was!

Zachy J, are you the Great Window Tinter to whom we all owe our allegiance?

I don’t know what any of that means.